Survival Tip: Text Posers; Dating in the Philippines

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56 comments

  1. Sounds great, but what if she gave the password to her ex or her current whatever or he somehow got a hold of it and was able to produce it to you?  These females seem un trustworthy.

    1. @infoquestor same could happen with your debit card.  nothing is foolproof.  point is;  be prepared and question any texts that don’t seem like they are from the actual person.  if a text seems odd, ask a question or two that only that person would know.

    1. And God knows PINK WILL DO IT. LOL Never heard a phrase like that before though. That’s funny. Henry we all just want to make sure you stay OK. ITS ALL LOVE BRUH.

  2. Hi Henry … I never would have thought of that one. I have dated several girls while vacationing in the Philippines and have never had that one happen to me, however thanks for the heads up.

    1. @The Philippine Experience the one thing i forgot to mention in the video is that sometimes it is the FILIPINA herself who is coming at you with a new number and a different girl’s name.. to see if you are being faithful to her.  one girl i know did that to her b/f, he responded saying he’d meet her at a certain streetcorner.  then he arrived to find his filipina g/f there, and she was pissed.

  3. Hi Henry,

    Good heads up for any and all.
    The password and/or number is a good idea.
    I have in the past asked a question where only the real person would know the answer.

    I have never had any b/fs posing, YET.
    One thing I have had to contend with is being traded.
    You remember the old deal about writing the ex’s phone number on the bathroom wall?
    “For a good time call 000-555-5555”.
    Seems the young ones especially like to trade cp #’s amongst themselves. So I have gotten txts from complete strangers. For me it is easy enough. If I get a txt from an unknown number and the person does not identify themselves immediately in the txt…off they go to my “BlackList”. This is a great feature available on many cell phones.

    Take care,
    Fred

    1. @Over The Rainbow – Philippines i was at a karaoke late one night, place was empty aside from four people at another table.  i got a beer and loaded up some karaoke tunes to just kill some time.  once i started the other people came to my table.  beer started flowing, the girls (not employees there) got friendly and i eventually gave ONE of them my number.  i was only passing through so the next morning i went back to Dumaguete.  it turns out the one person kept texting me and i made it pretty clear i wasn’t going to be passing through there again for quite some time.  so they passed my number to at least 4 other people, and i kept getting these new numbers texting me.. asking the same questions, “when will you be here again?”  i finally had to block all the numbers.

  4. Always keep your eyes open and use common sense. The law is lenient when it involves spouses and a third party. I am not sure if this article is still valid (it was at least until 2012), but it is nevertheless good to know: 

    Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code exempts punishment if physical injuries are inflicted by someone surprising the spouse during intercourse with another person. Murder is to be punished with destierro (a prohibition entering a place).

    I found some historic famous cases and the article 247 on this blog: http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2012/02/07/8-most-shocking-crimes-of-passion-in-philippine-history/

    1. @Jason Wilson i was with a girl, just as a casual fling every few weeks. only after entertaining each other for almost 5 months did i finally find out she was cheating on her lesbian girlfriend to be with me.  you just never know the full story at the beginning it seems.

    2. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines I had three occasions where they wanted me to sponsor them on fiance visa to the United States one turned out to be a lesbian who had a girlfriend waiting for her in San Francisco so they can get married that means I wouldn’t even gotten the honeymoon out of it.

    3. @Patrick Schaufelberger yes.  and that’s the big point i tried to make in another video.. that these women are not always honest about their marital or dating status when they meet a foreigner.  instead of seeing that point, many people got sidetracked thinking i was out to date a married woman, which i was not.  but the actual point was.. that this could happen to ANY expat who is told by a filipina she is single when in reality she is not.  next thing you know, chaos breaks loose.  A Huge Concern When Dating in the Philippines (1of2)

    1. @marun 2014 As a stranger in a strange land, it’s important to choose any “battles” very wisely, as you are at a disadvantage.  Doing battle over a HO is an automatic LOSS, every time.  Don’t play Captain Save-A-HO, don’t play “games.” 

    2. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines And by the way, some of these men are not their real bf, they pretend to be her bf and these Pinays like to have that feeling in the center of the drama. The “false bf’s” will just to throw away your game. Be prepared to battle and win or retreat!

    3. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines go for somebody who went to college (working class) educated one may have a difference but not all, check her friends as well, there’s a saying “show me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are”.., I do know that what you have experienced, literally from the early 20’s women who seemed to play hard. The Filipina mind set is they will entertain many suitors as much as they can and select the best. You will be waking up chasing a goose with a group of other men who wants her too.

  5. Henry, first I’m sorry that that happened to you 3 times.  Real bummer.  Almost enough to make anyone say f the PIs.  But I’m sure this is a desperate criminal minority.  The 3 times it happened to you did you have a feeling  when you were chatting  with her that  something is a little off here?  Thanks again

    1. @MeesterVegas Yes they do.  It does not have to be material things or with selfish intent.  You may want a smile from your grandma when you make her a cake or when you give money to a homeless person you might hope he/she spends it well.  Everybody wants something from others.

    2. @Jason Wilson Hi Jason,  I don’t agree, and I do.  They are nice because they are generally a happy, welcoming, and polite people. Everyone wants something from others, so  … it pays to be nice.  I can’t fault anyone for that.

    3. Great!  While I love eye candy  ….I’m 57, and I would prefer a  47ish year old woman, so that we are closer in life experience and stage of life.  Also at 35 they probably still have teenagers hanging around.  Been there and enjoyed it, but have no desire to return.  I have no problem with age difference if that is what floats someone’s boat.  I guess if you like being with a very young woman, you must like being an educator, and have lots of patience.

    4. @Josh Stapp the older women are usually done with games and looking to lock down a serious relationship.  and by ‘older’, in their 30’s.  filipinas here feel they are ‘old’ compared to the 18-25 year olds so they try a little harder when in a relationship to be mature and on the level.

    5. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines I’m so naive sometimes.  I would be an easy pick for a pretty girl.  Although, I’d stick to women close to my age, because I’m not patient to deal with games of youth.

  6. Any guy who reads his ex or current gf’s text messages is a basket case. I wouldn’t take them seriously. There’s a reason why those women are entertaining other guys — its because the only way to go is up. Don’t worry about it. Unemployment is high. Some boys have too much time in their hands. That’s how some of them end up running away or left for good after knocking up a girl. They have all this free time to hang out with the girl. I should know because I have a nephew who is like that. His 3rd gf recently left him with baby after she realized he’s a “Juan Tamad”.

  7. How can you tell a Filipino girl is lying…… Her lips are moving….Been there many times but never had this text thing happen but i don’t contact many girls. The ones i have went text crazy like 100 in a day drove me nuts..

  8. For the expats who wish to have a heads up. Check the records of your fiance, check everything, interview (discreetly) the family, neighbors, classmates, hire an investigator (last thing to do), go to NATIONAL STATISTICS OFFICE, check the status (if married/single), get authenticated documents. SPEND TIME to know her, know her past and current friends, co workers, employer, go back to the trail. If answers are vague, abandon ship. Just do not be suspicious, because you might not know you will lose a good catch. But hey, even though some may have a difficult relationship in the past it does not mean they do not love you or want to be with you.The key is make an effort to know the person really really really well so that you will not have regrets.

    Just a tip, if the woman insists to pay or have paid for her dinner in the early times you met then you will be fine. If the woman calls you that she is travelling for a mountain hike, then you will be fine. If the woman works hard and earn a living decently, then you will be fine. If she is not working, but have a good way of preparing your dinner and maintains a clean living, then you will be fine.

    1. @mwb93 there’s no doubt about that.  a filipina friend of mine did that to her b/f, to catch him waiting for the ‘other’ girl in town.. which was really her the whole time from a different sim number.  ha!

  9. I hear you Henry… But with serial “dating” comes drama and games ,especially with younger girls.I’m not condemning your choices as I have not always been an angel at home or abroad in those areas.,but these are things to be expected especially with the early 20s croud.If I feel funny about any text I receive Its blocked automatically.If I need to start feeling funny about text passwords its not even worth the aggravation…there are plenty of fish in the Sulu and Philippine sea lol…happy fishing.

    1. @Donnie C i figure down the road it will be one or the other;  i’ll either settle down with an older woman whose kids are out of the picture.. or a very young one who can have a shot for kids in her next marriage after i’m gone.  for the meanwhile, i just try to keep alert and stay a step or two ahead.

  10. Don’t waste time with a lady who can’t figure out how to retain and secure her cell.  If you get a “phishing” question, block the number and call “next.”  Beautiful woman are a dime a dozen in the PH.  Smart ones are not so common. 

    1. @DemocracyDoctor1 that becomes obvious ‘after’ the fact.  in the beginning, it’s all looking like normal meet’n’greet protocol.  the weirdness begins later.  ha!

  11. Seems like the posers there are real big RICHARDS ( DICKS), meaning filipinos,,  gee, with so many women in the world,  here in the USA , we just let those girls go and get another girl,,,  so seems like not only are filipinas jealous there but the filipinos are too,  gee,,,  no wonder there are behind the eight ball in the world,,,,,They are all players there,,,,,   incredible,,,,

  12. I was seeing a woman from thailand for a few years and when i phoned her sometimes  a different woman answered the phone wanting perfume and stuff and telling me how much she loved me. I knew it wasnt her. Alot of people live double lives and it gets confusing!

  13. Almost on the same topic – do filipinas seem to have boundaries when it comes to your phone? Or are they more likely to sift through your texts without asking? In your opinion of course, it’s a very general question.

    1. @draug2009 i keep my phone locked as a general practice.  not just because of women, i’d give april full access to my phone, i had nothing to hide.  but ‘in general’.. women everywhere are CURIOUS.  if they live with you or not, if you are not around and they are in your apartment, they will snoop through pieces of paper, trash, drawers.. just wanting to know what there is around.  not just filipinas.. most women are like that.  curious as cats.  but with the phone, some women are off the chart in curiosity while others leave your phone alone.. but meanwhile, won’t let you see what’s on their phone.  🙂

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines I dont know. I am Brazilian and I intend to live in the Philippines after my retirement, which must occur within two years.

  14. Wow…..great info and luckily this has never happened to me.  I have had girls share my number with girlfriends.  Usually happens after not giving the original girl much play.  Even if I am sure it’s a female texting me, it’s still a red flag.  Plenty of nice one so I try and stay away from the shady ones 🙂

    1. @edwinodus there are ‘truly’ single women.  but it takes time/patience getting to know them to separate the wheat from the chaff.  guys who rush don’t find out until they’ve trusted them with money or their heart, and that’s how they get hurt.

  15. hi Henry, all I can say is meet women through good friends. I’m 40yrs old with a child  never crossed my mind to play men never have never will. I’ve been with a man now for 17yrs but he is playing mind games with me now. he is a foreigner but we never met online. I came to Hawaii at the age of 14yrs old and met him there at my 21yrs old. you will find the right woman you just have to be patient. not all Filipino women are bad you just happened to come across the wrong one. I plan to go back to my hometown soon. best of luck and just be careful out there. I missed Cebu  

  16. Henry,  A password?  really…That’s so James Bond – Secret agent.  It’s a great idea – except that anyone taking her phone (versus using their own), seeing her old texts will see the password too….    But I bet it’s a great way to keep most of the posers from STALKING you….

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