Victim or Volunteer? Taken Advantage of or Not? Old Dog New Tricks August 14 2020


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Victim or Volunteer? Taken Advantage of or Not? Old Dog New Tricks August 14 [email protected] in the Philippines Old Dog New Tricks

In this video I explore if foreigners are taken advantage of by Filipina women or do they allow it to happen

Donation for Old Dogs https://www.paypal.com/paypalme2/paulinthephilippines

210 comments

  1. I put myself in a victim situation , all the while knowing good and well I was probably going to get scammed. However, I still did it.
    Forward to today, I’m just going on 3 months with a good woman, she is the absolute opposite of the first. Now I’m a. volunteer. Love your blogs.

  2. I’m trying to avoid becoming a victim. I’m in US planning to go to Philippines next year for retirement. Girls I talk to are willing to meet me and take care of me. However, they insist on me buying land and build a house. I want to rent only. I tell them I can’t own land there and they tell me to put it in their names. I say you will kick me out when you get your first tampo. They insist they are different from other girls. They will never kick me out. So I am 100% sure I’m going to rent.

  3. I am sorry but I have no sympathy. What do they see when they look in mirror? Truth is an overweight old man in majority of cases chasing after pretty young ladies. Of course they are not with you because of your good looks they want an easy life, someone to look after them if your luck. If your unlucky they will milk you for every dime they can if your stupid enough to allow it.
    Find a girl let her live with you, she will have a nice place to stay, good food and no stress but do not give them money maybe pocket money to see friends etc but nothing more.

  4. Great video. I was a victim myself back in 2015. Then 4 years with my current partner who has been amazing… There’s a fine line between Filipina predators and nice girls who are conditioned the wrong way by an overly generous guy. A lot of us older guys have lower self esteem than we’d like to admit, and that opens us up to be taken.

  5. Now Paul ,, don’t you feel lucky you found Baby May,,,Lol. Remember one thing there a sucker born every minuet. People who have that kind of money I really don’t feel sorry for them at all.Best to you and May,,,

  6. Great video Paul, I was a volunteer once About decade ago, No regrets.

    Wonderful woman, I wasn’t intrested in being a father To someone else’s kid.

    I have enough as is.

  7. We can always count on total honesty from you Paul. The world is full of givers and takers no matter what the culture. Some how the takers always find givers and exploit them. At some point we learn to know the difference. Great video Paul….

  8. Thanks Paul!! Great advise that I think everyone needs to hear from time to time and self check. I remember years ago, Opray, lol, said that you always need to be real with yourself. I always remembered that. Just wish Oprah wasnt along in the memory.
    Best wishes from an expat here in Surigao city.

  9. Great video Paul. I am a volunteer and don’t mind it. My #1 rule, don’t send money to people I haven’t met. Well except you and Mae but frankly that’s different. I’m not expecting anything in return. When I was in Thailand, met a couple of girls that I became good friends with. Both hard workers, hotel and grab, not hookers. Covid hit, they just shut em down, no income, no help. They are friends, not gonna let them starve. Have sent them money the past few months. Total about $500-600. I can afford it, doesn’t effect me. Helps someone else in need. My day to day job in the US is helping poor people and I love it so good enough. In this circumstance I think you can only be a victim if you allow it and think with the wrong head. Great video bro. Ohh and both girls know it’s likely I will never see them again as I am moving to the Philippines when the world opens up. But that’s ok, I don’t expect anything in return. Hence volunteer.

  10. One of my favorite sayings is “there us no fool like an old fool”. I don’t understand why anyone would retire and start looking for trouble in whatever form that might take. Every human interaction is a transaction to some degree, even the one wherein a “victim” gets a “volunteer” to listen to a sad story. Hopefully the storyteller picked up the tab on the beers cried into. 😐

  11. The filipinas have been taken advantage of by guys as well, both local and foreign, so you can see why someone in desperate circumstances would be tempted to get into a relationship with the first person who can solve their problems. If you aren’t up front with your partner about the situation and take precautions, then you are a volunteer.

  12. Like it when you get up close and personal Paul.
    That’s what I love about you and draws me into our like minded world.
    And thanks for sharing!-)
    Beautifully Presented

  13. I went through the exact same thing at first. I probably spent 15,000 just in cash on several sad stories. An expensive lesson, but luckily I never sent enough to make any real difference in my life. Yes, I was a volunteer too. THANKS FOR THE STORY.

  14. That’s a great point of view.. i agree with it and I probably need to learn and execute more appropriately as per your view.
    I think the most important thing i took from this is the carrying the negativity with me from last bad experience to the new experience..
    Great video

  15. Well Paul to coin a phrase I think you hit the nail on the head, as in think with the big head not the small one. I’ve been planning to retire and head to the Philippines for about two years more thinking about it than planning but planning about it quite a bit in the most recent year anyway,! I think the salvation for becoming a victim rather than volunteer is written all over the Internet all over YouTube. Because of people like you, Gio, Mark, Paul, The Filipina Pea, Reekay, and some others Have given me all the information I think I need and then some and I appreciate it ! I feel confident that when I do get there if the travel ban is ever lifted in my lifetime, that you guys have prepped me pretty well! Biden would say “come on man” Do your homework all your answers are out there don’t be afraid to ask if it’s not staring you in the face, which it is, if you get online, scams are everywhere warnings about them are everywhere. When people wanna know something about anything like medicine sickness illness what do they do these days? go online and look it up. Google it it is literally everywhere ! And I think it could be put this way, if you’re a victim you didn’t do your homework, If you are a volunteer, shame on you, who’s fault is it but yours, because if you did read or hear about all if this you apparently have something else on your mind than your own survival. Just my opinion

  16. Paul. Totally on point. I also have a girlfriend in the Phillipines and plan on going there once the covid _19 slows down. I put her through nursing school and now she has a job! , But still help her out monthly. she’s in Cebu, I can relate to everthing your saying. I’m 58. thanks for the good vlog Paul

  17. I can only speak for myself. Personally, I can see that I can easily become one of those guys. After not having a good warm relationship for many many years, it is natural for human being to fall into those women who have lots of practice. I can only hope I’ll be smarter than now when the time comes in a few years.

    My plan is when the time comes for me to retire, I’ll go to Pattaya, Thailand for about 6-months and let all the steam vent :)… After that move to Phillipine to live …

  18. Nailed it again Paul! I’d say greater than 90% of us expats have a very similar story. I would assume that a very large percentage of the men watching your channel are over the age of 50, retired or almost retired, lonely(divorced), and looking for that companionship that’s missing in their lives. So when that young and beautiful filipina gives them the attention they’re looking for they lose their shit and will do anything for them. Unfortunately too many times they are being scammed out of their money. I know you don’t give advice, but mine is DO NOT send money to a filipina that you meet online until you have met her in person! Unfortunately, this advice will fall on many a deaf ear, and the filipina’s will benefit once again from the volunteers(suckers). We all know the saying, “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me!”

  19. Lots of good advice to be taken from your videos always Paul, even if you never offer it. I’m sure many guys experience what you did. Know the girl properly, and I mean in person, before giving anything, assess their situation and intentions. Commit what you are happy to give or lose if you’re gonna be a volunteer, and don’t a victim of anyone by choice. Wise words as always, delivered with sincerity and compassion.

  20. Excellent talk, Paul, thanks. Very well spoken and thought out. I notice you almost never edit or need to edit your videos. You clearly have a naturally fluid speaking ability/talent that keeps people watching and listening like me. Please keep up the good work. I’ve lived in Thailand for the last eight years and a few years in Brazil before that. I’m 64 now and am considering heading to the Philippines next year at least for a look around. Visited once while serving in the U.S. Navy long ago. Much has changed and some things not so much, I see. Thanks again.

  21. If you don’t look out for number one, who will? Develop your instincts about others. If your gut tells you something is wrong, trust that feeling, not what your partner or someone else is telling you. I try to keep telling myself that. Good vlog Paul.

  22. Hmmm. Victim’s are neglecting responsibility for their actions. Even in your initial examples, the three men were not victims. They volunteered their resources to buy homes way too early in their relationship. But we all make mistakes and the first step to learn from them is to acknowledge you were responsible, something victims cannot or won’t do.

  23. I was in the marines during the early 90s. Listening to Paul here brings back memories of that time. I have all kinds of crazy stories of the fun I had but also quite few stories of guys getting screwed over. We were young and dumb and these girls had us wrapped around their fingers. They would cheat and take advantage of you at every turn. We had young marines constantly go UA(awol) and ruining their careers because of these girls and their BS. Also had lots of marines committing suicide because their filipina screwed them over in some way. These girls were lots of fun but also a ton of trouble. Begging for money to send to their “sick” mother in the province was the typical spiel. And now here we are some 30 years later and absolutely nothing has changed. Never send them money unless you met them first and established a relationship. Expect to get screwed so you keep your guard up and act accordingly. Common sense goes a long way!

  24. Great conversation Paul. Here is another version of what you are saying. A friend share this with me. ” Is your life a Miracle or a Grievance. My goal every day is to make my life a Miracle. It is all about attitude

  25. You could throw a wet piece of leather in front of my dad, he would fall in love and blow all his money! When the money is gone and leather drys up he crys she never loved me. He finds another piece of wet leather and repeats it all over again! Victim or fool! I learned by watching him that the man is a fool! Definitely not a victim……. He and most men never learn they are a fool for that wet piece of leather, unfortunately they are fools! Not a victim but a dumbazz man!Thank you sir Have a nice day……..

  26. That’s crazy if you give you should give what you can afford to lose. After a year if you want to get married then buy a home. If not just rent. Or get a condo most of the men are about 30 40 years older than the men. So I can see it happen. Think of it this way it would coast you 15,000 to 20,000 in the USA if you own property and have kids. No difference in USA other than age of relationships. I agree with you Paul giving that kind of money to someone you have not met is stupidity

  27. Hey Paul! Great subject! “Once you become aware that you’ve been deceived and betrayed, you have the choice to protect yourself from further victimization. When you are free to choose your response, you are not a victim. Don’t cripple your ability to practice good self-care by equating self-protection with being a victim. Don’t take on the role as a victim or as a badge of honor for you will be actively participating in your own victimization. You will then be a volunteer”. God Bless

  28. Oh yeah. I can relate. Mostly being a volunteer to my family and kids. But, unfortunately for them, I’ve had quite enough. I’m leaving. I’m done and I’ve done all I’m gonna do. Peace ✌️

  29. thanks for this vlog I have had 1 relationship with 1 Filipina lady long distance and the relationship went bad it was my fault and i have tried to find another, but I’m not trusting the dating sites they all seem fake and needy on the outset the only one I had long distance was a match maker from one of my friends wives that set me up and i enjoyed that relationship

  30. I didn’t start volunteering until this covid crap started happening. Seems like the country is falling apart financially while the government just keeps pushing for more idiotic rules, like now wearing face shields.
    One friend owns a bohol resort and its completely crashed. Ideas are most welcome

  31. 1. Volunteer.
    2. No Free rides in life.
    3. Enjoy the ride.
    4. Both get something out of it.
    5. Everyone makes mistake during their life lessons.

    6. The only sure thing in life, death and taxes.
    Only my opinion

  32. Hello Paul. Another good conversation! You really do a good job telling the planned story. You have a gift. As for the topic….. I’ve said this before on different channels…. For the men that are planning to find a filipina to love and hold…. Consider everything you give her a gift. No payback required. Never give something that you can’t live without. If you keep your assistance in that perspective, you will never feel cheated. For credibility, I’m currently in this very arena. I have given help but always remind myself that it is all hers. A gift from me. If she chooses to stay with me, great, if not, I will feel good about what I have done for her. I’m definitely a Volunteer and I will be happy one way or the other. Thanks Paul. Stay safe.

  33. Most of these guys volunteer. Take your time before any major decision. And really… go to a lawyer and have a 25 or 50 year lease on the property in YOUR name from the girl, when you purchase the land in THEIR name. Otherwise just keep going through life clueless…

  34. Excellent video. I was acting like a victim regarding my employment situation but in reality, I am a volunteer. I have enough funds to retire in the next 18 months and I plan on doing so. I have a teenager still in school so I might not retire in the Philippines immediately but again, I take ownership of that.

  35. Foreigners can’t own the property but they can own the building. I don’t know what rights it gives the house owning foreigner as far as getting kicked off the property but it gives you a pretty good survivor benefit. You can’t inherit the property if your property owning Filipino spouse passes first, but you are granted a period of time to sell the house with the property. I’ve been married to my Filipino wife for 13 years now. We bought property 10 years ago in her name and planned to some day build a house. Construction began 2 months ago and it’s coming along. I think it is an ideal situation, both sides of her family are from the little brgy so lots of relatives and they are doing OK, relatively speaking. If she ever kicks me out I would just head on down to Dumaguete.

  36. Paul,
    Been 1 year FB friend and have been recently online boyfriend/ first time ever 🔥
    With a phillipine younger lady 25 years younger than me exactly.
    She’s got another 1&1/2 years yet in Hong Kong/ domestic living in helper and then maybe…
    I’ll be there ” ILO”!
    I’m 62/ retired when hoax virus was beginning in China.
    Ready to give er a try.
    Just wanna find tropical fruit trees to” forage” there somewhere around ILO.

  37. It sure can be difficult to discern true intentions, especially when we “enter the dragon” with a bias as Paul mentions. Even though we are chomping at the bit to make a good impression and difference, I have found that a little restraint in the beginning is the key. In other words, if your girl asks for something within the first few weeks, consider that a warning sign. A Filipina with good intentions and values will simply trust that “in due time” you will do your part and will be very hesitant to ask for anything.

  38. These men are stoopid, when will they learn, when they are bankrupt I suppose. Just rent a place so if it goes pear shape what do you lose very little. If you going to build a house lease the land in your name and build on it. M

  39. Nice video and obviously you have been punched in the mouth for speaking up. I listen to people but I keep my mouth shut. My daughter would ask my why I didn’t say anything and I would tell her thry did not want to hear anything and I didn’t want to get punched.

  40. Pretty good talk. Guys need to accept that are the reason it happened it is their life after all. if they cant control it no one can. In my experience if it is in your head it will probably happen partly because you have decided it will. That does not mean we can turn water into wine. It means stop trying to swim up hill like salmon turn the victim into experience and learn not to volunteer. nice respectable people never charge to chat. Good people earn their own money as they dont want to be branded as a user/thief

  41. wow building them a house in under 1 week. if you want a pretty girl just rent one for a few months it would be cheaper and you both know what you are getting.

  42. Hey P, Hey M… yes sir, your story about “those guys” have been a around for ever….I have been married to a Thai since 1975,now seperated, but over forty plus years these stories keep occuring..only the names have changed….i learn early on that you want to help save the girl from poverty…you know etc..but i was told from some old sargeants ..they are just fine..they dont need saved…and damn sure dont build a house or property…even if your married! spent 30 years in southeast asia…i heard all kinds of stories….hitmen…etc…
    well your deadon guys think with thier little head and not the big head…me too….we americans sometimes lead with our hearts ….yes a voulunteer lol…
    i could tell you some tales i heard…i just shack my head..think…you fricking idiot…thinking with your little head again!!
    Best Wishes…p and m
    from the dog pound
    bye yall…smitty

  43. I’ve been living in Vegas since 1994 and I’ve been to so many rodeos vacation in the Philippines a few times so I understand what’s happening and I think it’s good your an x salesman so you probably could pump the brakes a little earlier then others

  44. Hey Paul, I think the emotional and psychological damage that a dysfunctional upbringing does to us stays with us for longer than we care to admit. It leaves a space in us that we continue to try and fill. Like you, I have had several online startups that cost me some financial damage, I’m embarrassed to tell you how many, but I have never claimed to be a victim, I am mature enough to know that I volunteered the sending of money, I have no real regrets over this, I justify it by thinking that I have helped someone in their struggle, I know how tough it is in the Philippines. I am currently involved with another woman online, yes I am sending her money, she does have a job but because of the situation, is not working, the timing sucks because of this virus problem, making it difficult to get over there, so I will probably continue to send money. But voluntarily, not as a victim. Again, like you, there are some men that suffer from White Knight syndrome, it doesn’t make us bad people, I believe we do it from our hearts.

  45. I agree with Paul on mindset. Are you a victim or volunteer? We’ve all played the volunteer role and many times we are a victim of uncontrollable situations. Both mindsets take away your power. Everything is choice. Take responsibility for your choices. As painful as that can be, there’s liberation in knowing that this is your life and everything that flows through you around you and over you is your choice. Paul, you are a wise man.

  46. Right off I do not believe ALL Filipinas are scammers. If anyone believes that that shouldn’t come to the Philippines. I have never been scammed, partly because I can spot one a mile away. When I met my 44 yr. old G/F I was working in cybersecurity & was bait for Pro scammers. They were not in the Philippines. I wasn’t looking for a G/F when I met my now GF & had never met a Filipino before. I have heard ex-pats complain because the kid they are with acts like a kid. No joke. My GF never asked me for money in the 10 months we chatted before I came here a yr. and a half ago. We haven’t had any real problems in that time. The secrete to not being scammed out of money is to just say no.

  47. Victim or volunteer??? No. More like idiot or moron. C’mon Man. Gee why would a beautiful, young, dirt poor Filipina be interested in an old fart? I have some land in Florida if any of you guys are interested.

  48. If you’re building a house for someone and buying them a scooter after a few weeks of that, and u end up broke, you got what you deserve. Who on earth does that?

  49. I think these victims are not really victimes! They just did a trade exchange: Very expensive one and they lost it all! They could have done it at their own towns with the same kind of people and much, much cheaper!

  50. Good advice Paul the thing is you never know when that time may come to be victim I think what you are saying is be strong and say no to a lot of the volunteer stuff, stay healthy be safe I am new to your channel just subscribe

  51. Hi Paul, enjoyed your live chat last night, as regards to this video my take on the subject any woman asking for financial aid in a new relationship is definitely a red flag! It’s just too bad that men don’t know that. Thks for the video.

  52. Someone who has their house broken into is a victim. Guys who fall for this are stupid. I don’t need to pick up a cobra to see if it will bite me, I damn well know it will.

  53. Very timely advice Sir Paul. Hit the nail on the head. I’ve been both a victim and a volunteer. Problem now is I can’t trust again. It feels like everyone is looking for a volunteer. Have recently met a lovely girl but she reminds me of the scammer you previously interviewed. They are so adept at getting you to volunteer! Better to just not even chat. My dad used to have a saying…”If it sounds to good to be true….it probably is!”

  54. Thank you for your honesty Paul. You say that you do not give advice which I agree is a good policy to have, but you present your story so well that someone can not help but come away with a valuable lesson. Good job Sir!!

  55. There is a saying that I always think about before I volunteer and that’s “No good deed goes unpunished” most of the time it comes true.
    And just a note to the guys who will go ahead and build that house, you can set-up a 25 year lease agreement for the property first . So at least you can get 25 years out of the house.

  56. Good info. The fact is, Nobody should ever put down a single dollar that they aren’t ready to lose. Compassion, charity and generosity are their own reward. And if the saying “nothing is free” is accurate, then the three men you spoke of got just what they deserved. Scammers can’t victimize you if you don’t let them. Do what you want, but take responsibility for it. Nobody victimizes anybody that doesn’t allow it. Don’t allow the fear to overcome your generosity, just frame it within your ability to afford it and focus it to those most deserving. Think with your big head, not your little head!!

  57. Pail, you are an excellent orator. I’ll be retiring to Thailand in five years with my Thai wife, but I want you to hear about your life and the lessons you have learned. Appreciate you sharing.

  58. Old dog, I’ve been watching you for a while now, but this one, was so like my journey, I understood everything you said, and now I know why I like you, because I’m in my late 50s, and treat everyone with respect. But if they don’t give me it back, I like you, just walk away. I love Philippines, was there last year, and so sad that I won’t get back this year, but always an optimistic, hopefully next year, and I might come too your area, if I ever meet you, and your lovely women, would love to buy you a drink and a small chat… Never over stay my welcome 👍🏼 Keep up the good work, simple but affective. Take care 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  59. I’m a gay person. And it is the exact same thing for me dating younger guys in the Philippines than straight guys date younger women. The only difference is, the younger guys I have dated wanted a business more than a house lol.

  60. I really love you and Maes vlogs. Hopefully things will open up and I can visit early 2021. Haven’t been to the Philippines since the mid 80’s. Would love to meet up with you and buy you coffee when. Make it there. Plan on retiring there in about 3 yrs. take care and stay safe.

  61. Lets be fair why would a pretty attractive 20-25 year old want a 60+ man regardless of nationality……, if any man thinks its for their handsome good looks or any thing else. they have their selves to blame. aslong you know the score and you get what you want from it then fair play but it aint no relationship and it is definitely short term

  62. One has to learn from their mistakes for sure . I think part of it is the huge asset gap and money gap between Westerners and Filipinos. In America you’re just another person, with all the same things as everyone else, but in the Philippines you’re seen as a god by young attractive women. This can be quite intoxicating to a guy who was just an average Joe back in the states. That may be the reason why they keep falling into the same trap.

  63. Probably only a victim of your own stupidity. If you think you couldn`t bring her back to your own country then you know she`s with you only for the money. There are way more Filipinas who are not genuine than those that are genuine. I am bringing my wife back to the UK and there is no way I would buy a house in the Philippines or bank role her family and she wouldn`t ask me.
    The ones that seem perfect and do everything possible for you are usually the scammers, it`s an act and usually obvious to anyone unless your love struck. A lot of the attention you get in the Philippines as a white guy is mostly just because you`re seen as automatically rich as a westerner. Don`t take any of the attention lavished on you as a guy there seriously, it`s aimed more at your wallet than you.
    If you`re a guy who doesn`t have much luck in the west with women, that kind of attention will easily blind you to a woman`s intentions while massaging your ego. There are some amazing and genuine filipina`s but finding them among the scammers takes a lot of work. Have realistic expectations and listen to what a woman asks you and think about everything she does and says and how she acts to you. Always listen to your gut instinct, it`s usually always right

  64. Paul, ya know what buddy?… as I have said before…. you are so wise !!! By you sharing and speaking REAL, I wonder how many Men realize the true benefit of your words. Your Humility is exemplary and your pearls (of Wisdom) are spot on, relevant and beneficial for your audience. Keep it Paul and have a pleasant evening- Mike G. (Fla)

  65. I think most people watching your video or reading my response want confirmation bias. They want to hear, what they want to hear. Small age gap relationships are NOT an issue! Big age gap relationships are a combination or variation of true feelings and “care giver affection”.
    I’m about 50, with youthful looks and a military background. A 20 year age gap over there is literally nothing!
    A man in his late 60’s+, who has a 30 year age gap? I absolutely don’t judge, nor should anyone else. But it’s a matter of “How honest” is that man with himself, about all aspects of that relationship.
    As an example. Paul Old Dog and his partner Mae. They both seem absolutely honest and sincere with each other. And no one’s business what that means.
    But other older gentleman who aren’t honest with themselves, or not in a mutually sincere and honest relationship, those are always the stories with the sad or tragic endings.
    (ONE MAN’S OPINION) But I think videos like this, and similar OLD DOG videos, can really help a “Thinking man”. If a man isn’t thinking, isn’t using common sense, isn’t paying attention to RED FLAGS, then he can’t be helped.

  66. Paul that’s a great story and really made me think. I don’t believe anyone is a victim unless maybe it’s a robbery or crime. We make choices good and bad. Also if you think about the guys your talking about it makes perfect sense . Your dealing with poor people and much younger why would they be romantically interested in old men like me and you!😅

  67. Well told. Everyone can be a victim but there is a point where you cross from being victimized and become a willing volunteer. I’m planning on retiring next March. Saved up a stake and along with a pension and soc. sec. plan on coming for 10 months. Looking to meet new friends, seeing new places, getting out of the ground hog routine I’m in now. Not going to try to get a relationship started here on line before I come. If I’m lucky and meet a girl who is a good fit then that would be wonderful and maybe even doing some traveling around S.E. Asia with them or by myself. If I really enjoy it I plan to keep my place here in the states as an anchor and keep coming back till I get so old that I just prefer to stay at home here. Best of good fortune to you Paul, I’ll keep following your vlogs and live feeds.

  68. To illustrate this gap between Westerners and Filipinos a bit more, the first time I went to the province to meet my fiancé’s family I noticed that no one up there (Northern Luzon) wore eye glasses which I need to do anything. I commented that everyone’s eyes must be really good since I didn’t see anyone wearing glasses and my future wife turns to me and says “they aren’t wearing glasses because they can’t afford them”. Boy did I feel stupid but I learned that even the simplest things that I had set me far apart from people in the province. I then learned that kids don’t go to McDonalds unless it’s their birthday, and it takes 3 kids to pool their money to buy one chocolate bar. And the idea of flush toilets and water you can drink from a tap is just a dream for so many.

  69. Hi Paul…hope you are doing well.I am a volunteer and hope not a victim.I have been video chatting with a lady for 6 months.she is real and doesn’t ask me for money.we both have same birthday…month and day.I have been giving her money every month to help with food because of the virus.I am planning on going to the Philippines as soon as international tourist are allowed to travel there to meet my wonderful filipina.I really feel that she cares and loves me.I volunteered to send her money to help her and her family.I just hope that I will not be a victim when I get there.thank you for your videos and hope to meet you when I get there….be safe and stay healthy…I heard that the Philippines is going to open in September from my travel agent…have you heard anything about that?

  70. Ohh yeah I have a friend his gf do that to him. Build her a house, bought her property and spent for her annulment then after that she told him bluntly that she doesn’t love him anymore . Now he’s back in the US.

  71. I always tell my American guy friends never spend more than 100.dollars for your Pinay gf!! And never invest on any property unless you married her.

  72. Paul becomes a fox in no time. Life experience in Philippine definitely taught him a valuable lesson to pass down to next wave of expats planning to retire in Philippine. This is a living documentary for everyone trying to build a relationship oversea.

  73. belief systems and the truth are two different ideas, the real truth happens rarely
    Many times in AA (36 years) I have heard that there are no more victims only volunteers.

  74. Thanks for doing this Paul, good insight with critical thinking and oh yes common sense… the one where you compared life there to the USA was a classic thanks man for doing that one….

  75. Spot on Paul. I decided to be happy and part of that is taking full responsibility for my actions and also being able to say no.
    BTW, due to the inspiration from you and a couple other You tubers I have retired early-63 and am going on my first official leg of that journey August 31 to Playa Del Carmen. Taking a 2 month Divemaster program. Eventually I would love to be there too. Living cheap and now a minimalist keeping it simple. Remember Jimmy Hendrix said, ‘There are many here amongst us, that feel that life is but a joke.” Im volunteering baby!

  76. You are a wise man Paul. Both intellectually and emotionally intelligent. For myself, in those situations, I just figure I got what I paid for, even if it doesn’t seem like good value for my money in retrospect. (Happens here too.) Maybe all I got was hope, but maybe that was what I needed most to keep on keepin on at that time. That said, the only money I have sent overseas at this point is to YouTubers like yourself (and Mae). I don’t plan to even use the dating sites before I actually visit there, but I understand the strong desire to end one’s personal isolation ASAP, even if at first it is just finding someone to talk to… and it is exciting to talk to beautiful Pinays. I can understand how otherwise intelligent people can get sucked in.

  77. Paul, these type of videos are so important. Men need to hear the way it is before going to the Phils. They may still choose to be ignorant but at least they will have that voice in the back of their head yelling “Don’t be an idiot”. Hopefully guys will just make small mistakes and lose no more than a few hundred dollars and some pride. Please guys, do not start a relationship based on showering a woman with gifts and being her bank. Go slow and be kind and be smart. Biggest mistake I made was bringing mine to my country. No matter how educated and good they are, human nature will take over. They will get around other Filipinas and they will start to want everything everyone else has. Good luck guys and please learn from all of us who made mistakes.

  78. it is a universal truth that when your a kid you have the god given right to blame your parents for everything and beleive me i’ve excersised that right but when your a man you take responsibility for all the shit that comes your way don’t blame somebody else don’t be a victim don’t be that guy with a sob story because you won’t be special buddy🇵🇭🇺🇸🇯🇲😎👍

  79. I’m pretty sure I’m being a volunteer, because I’m in a relationship for 6 months now with a Philippina, we’ve never meet and everyday I’m being told about all her financial problems. I have sent some money $1500 CAD in total because she’s not working because of Covid but since I’ve stopped sending the arguments have started. I’m really confused right now what’s the right thing to do????

  80. I normally do not comment…. but this was one of your best videos…. I have been a flaming idiot or as you say a volunteer lol also…. but this video is 100% on spot… take care and enjoy your life and be safe !

  81. Great post! Best to rent so that you won’t lose out. Worse, if you get killed for your resources (savings, insurance, or part of your social security).

  82. I reduced 200 Filipina emails down to 30 with my first response of – “Due to scammers, I Skype immediately.” (it’s in profile too). It deterred many scammers. Along with my direct honesty. I did not use WhatsApp which reveals private cell #. Also, if I sensed a “player” then I broke away. They never had the chance to ask for money nor scam me. I viewed a 100 of “advice” videos and read a 1000 comments to help me see reality. I focused on Filipinas over 30yrs.old which I believe reduced the risks. Finally, God presented me with an incredible Filipina who is very sharp and communicates well. She closely follows and gets my thoughts and jokes. After 8 weeks of video chatting daily, I paid for her load ($13/mo.-direct by Ding.com). We’re being careful to remain friends until we meet in person.

  83. Paul: What about “Volunteering to BE a victim?”
     
    I had a pity story (or two) here in the US. One need not go halfway across the world to be played.

    Questions are: What did one learn from it? Did one maintain a positive life attitude afterward?

    Now I’m corresponding with a single-mom pinay. I told her there’s no way I could support her and her two very nice sons. But, I do feel moved (without being asked) to send her $50 – $100 here and there to help her… as charity (I don’t use that word with her). God does want us to help people as we are able. I adhere to that mentality, to share what He’s given me. I expect nothing – not even thanks – in return. I get no thanks from my own family! The lady in the Pinas does thank me, and sends me pix of what she’s bought with what I sent her.
     
    Kind of like your Baby Mae, this lady calls me “Dada.” I don’t really like it that much, but she said it’s a term of respect not of familial position. Ever hear that one?

  84. Hey Paul
    I think everyone is a victim and a volunteer at one point in their lives or another.
    As the old saying goes, we win some and we lose quite a few.
    The most important thing is that we learn and correct our behavior, but I also think it’s okay to
    help someone less fortunate than you, if appropriate at the time. I’ve probably given away around the neighborhood
    of 2K over the span of 4-5 years, but you know what? Those people never really had anything, I was more selfish than they were,
    because it felt good to help someone, even if it might not have been all true.

  85. good job paul yeah i have experienced both all boils down to common sense learn from it, go on your gut feeling there actions as well as your own but wow 60 k us dollars? thats a lot of dosh thats bragging rights for that filapina and her family i pray for there happiness and i dont feel sorry for stupid people sorry, man i really enjoy yur videos mate!!

  86. Some guys have “Knight in shining armor” syndrome. I think they know deep down they they’re getting scammed, but always come back for more. They say compulsive gamblers actually subconsciously want to lose…Maybe it’s similar to that? Just found your channel & subscribed. Enjoying it!

  87. We all get a euphoria when we meet a girl here. The girls are like car salesmen, they know how to handle men, and if they don’t their aunties will tell them 😂. They all want the house and lot, and to go to your country. I know a lot that have turned out good though. Although for me, I’m not buying more than I want to loose 👍

  88. Good message Paul. From watching yours and the Filipina Pea Vlogs, the best financial defense for a foreigner going to the Philippines is to retain control of their money by dishing it out in small amounts as a Volunteer. Rent a house, rent a scooter, pay 1 semester at a time for school, etc… You control when money goes out so you can stop it at anytime depending on the minimum rental periods. This way you never lose a big sum of money in one transaction. Yes, there is a beginning relationship game to be played and you can only be “reasonably” sure of your partner’s true intentions with time…1 year…2 years…maybe more? A Philipina asking for or even casually suggesting a house in the country for her family would be an automatic disqualifier for me. I would tell her within the first month that buying ANYBODY a house within the first 5 years of a relationship will never happen and asking for it in the future will end the relationship immediately. This will help to weed out those who value your money more than the relationship and lifestyle they can have with you. They will move on before you spend too much time, money and emotion on them to find an easier Victim. You can still be generous with your Philipina during those “first 5 years”, just do it on a monthly basis that fits into your budget. Paul I think you found the needle in the haystack with Baby Mae. She knows you are not rich, you are not a walking ATM, but her life is comfortable and safe and secure with you while having someone to love and getting loved back. The Philippina Pea made a Vlog that described the culture of the Philippines as it relates to kids and loyalty and financial support. Most parents have no pensions or 401k or big savings for retirement. One of the reasons people have kids in the Philippines is for financial support when they got old. Due to this cultural given, 95% of the Phillippina’s you meet will always focus their loyalty FIRST to family (parents) and the husband is ALWAYS second or lower regardless of nationality. Her decisions will have a “long game” strategy of helping her parents first while she tries to balance a relationship with you. All foreigners MUST know this going in so you can be an informed Volunteer instead of a Victim. This “game” or cultural difference can still work but the rules of the game and the compromises each party is willing to make need to be discussed up front. I’m guessing this “financial loyalty” to family would be less of an issue if the Phillipina you are dating is an educated professional with her own money and/or from a family where her parents are too and they have some financial security for their future retirement. Keep the quality Vlogs coming Paul.

  89. Good summation of the topic. I wish more people took responsibility for their “problems “ and took a look at how their actions resulted in their situation. As I say this I am giving money to a filipina. If the online relationship doesn’t work out, at least I know I helped her. I have no regrets and I am not a victim. Cheers

  90. voluntary victims. then again most guys will if they get to date a 30 year old. guys get pretty girls things since Noah built his wife the boat to impress her. maybe I will take salt peter first year in Philippines when I go lol. good advice paul

  91. Guys always want to be the saviour, a womans knight in shining armour. They see how their filipina lives and feel sorry for her because the quality of life is way poorer than they’ve seen in their home countries. Tip to foreigners, if you are going to date a filipina let her be a filipina dont try to “save her”. If she lives in a bamboo house she can stay there, if she works for 140 peso a day let her do that. Sure you can supplement her income a little or feed her but if you do anymore than that you’re just a sugar daddy at the end of the day. Dont be a sucker guys.

  92. I suppose some guys are really naive and rather desperate but best to start small and act like you don’t have that much cash until you learn the ropes.

  93. Hey Paul,..your videos are very informative, so I am subscribed. I watch many hours of video a day (it seems) about the Phillipines, because I plan to move there (eventually). I will buy a fairly cheap used scooter and tour around on many Islands, touring inland and the coasts, as many Islands that I can for a couple years, and will want to find, and settle in a very beautiful area in the province,…. a place where I can build up the poor community that I have chosen to live in. Yes,… I would definitely be thought of as a “volunteer” ….but that is what I want to do……P.S I’m your age, but I’m not (necessarily) looking for romance anymore, I just want to help a small community, and live my life there, so my life can have some purpose.

  94. Interesting thoughts Paul. Five years ago when I first seperarted from my now Ex wife, I met a young Filipina who did just as you said. She told me everything I needed to hear. Then it began, $50 for school books for her son, $75 for tuition for the longest last semester of college that ever existed…Before long, I was sending $100 every two weeks until I woke up a few months later…A far cry from the $50K to build a house, but the point is the same. It was a good learning experience for me…

  95. Hard to comment on something that is spot on. Avoid people playing the victim card like the plague (sympathy). Be around people that own and take responsibility for their mistakes (respect).

  96. Never expect anything in return for the money you give women, any woman, NEVER EVER!!! You’re far better off to make it standard practice to tell them you are poor/broke have NO MONEY TO GIVE and if they stay with you THEN AND ONLY THEN DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING!

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