Video Diary Oct 14, 2014 – A Tempting Proposition (1of2)

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58 comments

  1. Dude….she must have thrown some good stuff on you. You sound like a changed man. However, I wouldn’t believe for one second those kids will stay gone. It will be a visit…then a long visit,  then the summer, then there forever. She’s in for the long con. 

  2. Hahahahaha, Henry says “I wasn’t looking”. That’s why you did a double take around the bench in the park, coz you wasn’t lookin man. Gave me a good chuckle there Henry.
    You are male, you are alive, you aren’t dead, you’re looking. And see what you found!! No too bad there Henry.

    The other thing is a real “Catch 22” type situation. But the “leave the kid(s) with the family” thing is also part of the way things are done here. So westernized as we both are I do not think it will be a problem except in you own mind.

    Of course if mama isn’t working anymore in order to be able to spend her time with you then there is still the financial support that will be expected. Because I am sure that if you want to have any real relationship it would be hard indeed if she is working the normal Filipino 6 days x 10 hours.

    One of the hard things I have found is that while I do not mind if the lady in question has one child, I could handle that financially and space wise, if the child is going to be on the boat. But two would be a no-no, no money and no space.

    Of course that is providing I can find someone who wants to live on the boat with me. That has been as hard a nut to crack as the no kids unicorn that you have been chasing.

    Take care and best of good fortune to you and your chosen,
    Fred

    1. @Jason Wilson Actually- joking aside…spoil her with being a strong mate for her, if she wants to worry about buying fashions or complaining, that’s her riddle to solve for herself or regret later.

  3. Congratulations you found a Modified Unicorn, the children satisfied her female needs so that is done, you be living children free with this lady visiting the kid’s every few weeks she is like a kid’s free girlfriend.

    1. @slobomotion I’ll disagree on that. There’s thousands of mothers who seek working overseas for years from Phillipines also Indonesia I also worked with mariners their contact is for six months so two weeks is nothing It’s a way life. The kids are loved taken care as so are the family members supported.

    2. If she’s an unfit mother, the children are better off away, but who’d want a relationship with an unfit woman?  I can’t believe he’s even considering a relationship with her, but appreciate his openness.

  4. You know what Reekay? You are a true sweetheart for this woman. A God Sent Angel.  With you thinking like I do, it’s really a hard decision for any man to take on another man’s responsibility but with you being a Christian man with real Christian values, you’re really a gentleman with a big heart. And who knows, if you did go through with this idea of yours, it is very possible in your old age, that these kids will repay you back and will protect you from people who would try to do you harm (as an older person, it’s common in society where younger men like to push around older people). Well, it’s your life but let me tell you, it is not a bad decision at all because Filipino children that grow up under their parents wing in the provinces are more respectful and caring for their elder parents. You will notice that in Philippine culture. It’s not like in the West where the older children just drop off their parents in an old age home and don’t even visit them any more. In Philippine culture, the children care for their parents when they get older, as well as the wife  (if you have a younger wife especially). They will care for the older husband very well. This is what I’m doing to my mom now. Looking after her needs without anyone telling me to do this for her. It’s just natural instinct.

  5. This is the normal way it goes in the Phils.
    The children stay with her Mother or sisters.
    Don,t think ,we don,t do that in America or Europe.
    It,s their culture and we have to respect that.

  6. This is the first video we’ve ever seen of yours and all we can say is CONGRATULATIONS. Despite dreaming about it, not many people actually do what you have done! Enjoy the islands!

    1. @DamonAndJo thanks.  i actually do videos on varying themes.  some are visits to places in the PH.  other videos are my thoughts and viewer discussion on specific topics related to life in the PH.  (‘Thinking Out Loud’ series).  one series is my advice to Filipinas.  and then there is my weekly video diary where i share what’s on my mind in my personal life.  looks like you jumped in at the deep end of the pool.  🙂  hope you get to enjoy my other vids as you browse through them.  🙂

  7. Hi Henry, I just wanted to bring something to your attention about finding the type of woman that you are looking for. Quite awhile back I was a member of http://www.filipinacupid.com  On there if you click “advanced search”, you can choose a woman that has no kid’s and does not want kid’s, her age range and a lot more then hit search and viola!. Ton’s of ladies come up that fit your preference.  They may or may not live in Dumagete,  Take care and hope that helps…..  Bob

  8. I find one thing bizarre about Filipino culture: Filipinas are said to be extremely family-oriented, yet they’ll leave their families at the drop of a hat for a paying job in a foreign country. They’ll leave their kids, husbands, and all the rest for a chance to make some money. Yes, I know PLENTY of Filipinas that have done that, and worse. Sometimes, when they get to their foreign paradise they get a new boyfriend, and sometimes even have a baby, or two. 

    Don’t trust this woman, Reekay. Any woman that would dump her kids will also dump you if something better comes along. 

    1. @Crunch Hardtack The are young girls that absolutely haven’t any privacy in their homes as everyone shares personal items even if she did possessed some form of birth control and that would be discovered she is labeled as a Puta.

    2. John: Let’s see if you can still say that if you don’t have the money to feed your children.
      Crunch: Contraception is not widely accepted in the Philippines because of the Catholic church. 

    3. Going to work on Field street at the drop of a hat is also bizarre considering the pious posture most seem to possess. My understanding of their culture & mentality is far from complete. I don’t understand why the teenage girls can’t learn to keep their legs closed- do they want to be unwed mothers? or do they throw all of their smarts and wisdom out the window because they just want to try it out. Aren’t there any condoms on the 7,000+ islands, or is that a sin?…why haven’t they learned by now? 

  9. Henry, I would agree this is weird to discuss on internet. Having said that, well it sounds like you found a lady who is interested enough in you that she is looking for a way to make it work. That is a real plus. You need to go back to what you have previously stated is a rule. Give it a couple of months, it HAS only been one week! Come January, reevaluate the situation. How do you both feel? If it is a go, then you need to have a serious discussion about baggage; yours and hers. 

  10. Hey Henry. ..you can’t have your cake and eat it to. This lady is fine..she’s has a job..she’s not over weight…she has no problem with you body size..trust me most women here in the US want a taller man. YOU NEED TO COUNT your blessings or get ready to be hermit. She may really like you and want the kids with her sisters so they don’t interfere with you and her bonding with you. Do you really want the drama of the daddy of the children. Henry your romantic heart. .makes it hard for you to deal with mechanics of this new world of women who are independent…even there she a Phillipino beauty. .but she is making decisions about her future. .until you make some contributions to her life…you really can’t make any demands. If you are done with kids..you are done with kids. Just enjoy her and move on. I think you are still hooked on being a father figure. If there are no big religious differences or sexual differences or
    Money differences..Again what’s the problem
    I personally have had some very crazy ones in my life..but I gave them all the benefit of the doubt. Even a Mercedes has its flaws. .
    For me..it’s the high payments…but any brand of car that is well maintained by its driver…will yield years of service. .and never let you down… are you ready for the maintenance?

    1. @JackTripper as for cake.. what’s the point of having it if you don’t plan to eat it?    cake is for eating.  not much else you can do with cake really.

    2. Your are right. ..my friend but you said your going to give it a year..if these are your only problems within a year..consider yourself blessed
      We westerners..who I am very proud to be see life to much from “its about the journey” point of view, then to entertain the notion at least some..”it’s about the destination”. Stop some Henry and analyze the destination you are going. .based on what you have told us Joan is the best…unless you are still in love with April. .which you may have not gotten over…peace be you…:)

    1. Remember there is no Divorce in the Philippines so you better be sure that everything is working out and that means a long term relationship of 2 or 3 years before any thought of marriage. Good luck I have been in this exact position many times and seen things that would scare you into just playing it safe taking your time and figuring out ALL your options before getting into something that is difficult to get out of.

  11. Hi Reekay. A woman who does not want to be with her kids is unpredictable, especially when there is no financial issues. You need to find a woman with a loving and caring heart. If this woman does not care about hugging,seeing and caring for her kids everyday, then she’s lacking love in her heart. She’s not interested in seeing her kids every day, so you will get the same treatment. She’s got the same attitude as a man, she wants to do her 9-5 job and do nothing after that. She’s a lazy woman. Stay  away from her. Another question you need to ask herself, why did her husband leave her?. Like you said filipinas are good liars.

  12. Hi Henry and everybody else,

    I just found myself on the receiving end of Henry’s dilemma.
    Went out yesterday on an initial get together with a woman here on Cebu.
    Has many of the unicorn traits.
    38yo
    Widowed
    No children
    BUT she is the care taker for her nephew. His mom is OFW so now the lady I met is trapped for the next 17 months by the familial responsibility of her nephew.
    S**t!

    Take care,Fred 

    1. @Over The Rainbow – Philippines irony is life’s way of laughing at us, eh?  well, at least you found one and have the choice of waiting around or coming back to her if that’s a possibility.  hope it works out for the best though.

  13.  Henry I have been married for a long time to my wife from Dumaguete that’s one year older than myself . Find that one that you have common interest with , I see way to many older western men that find that 20 something in Philippine’s and think that they can grow old together . The problem is that not only are you tackling a culture difference but a age gap difference .  Given the choice between you or a pinoy boyfriend her age with the same wealth you wouldn’t be a thought in her eye’s . Find that beauty within 10 years of your age and I think you will find that everything will fall into place for you and that special someone you find . My wife had four children when we met , they are all honor grad’s from high school and look at me as a good step- father . One of the most rewarding thing’s I have done in my life is helping raise them to adulthood . If your not ready to accept them as your own then walk away , it would not be fare to them , you or there mother to live separate and not as one family .

    1. A wonderful message to those expats who want to have a family in dumaguete or anywhere in the island … Dumaguete is a very nice place, people are nice and educated… If a goal of an expat is achievable to find a life partner dumaguete is a place to find educated and decent partners an expats must know where to find them .. The city is just small but has many advantages , like when it comes to travel by air, sea, land, in just 5 to 10 minutes only you are in the terminal/port… For healthwise reason dumaguete has 3 hospitals .. For educational purpose for the kids a number of colleges and universities within dumaguete.. Dumaguete is not so crowded and not polluted unlike other big cities in the island… When an expats prefer to stay in a cooler and quite place there is Valencia only 20 to 30 minutes from dumaguete .. Nearby dumaguete beaches, resorts , beautiful corals, whale watching , etc….

    1. @LifeBeyondTheSea – Philippines perfect. Halloween is just around the corner, just be careful of your BatCape getting it wrapped around the scooter wheels. -:)

  14. Don’t do it Henry, as you said before, No big decision after a year.
    She might be following your video postings, and just playing.
    Stick to your plan and you will achieve happiness.

  15. navytexan
    4 hours ago · Shared publicly

    Henry I have been married for a long time to my wife from Dumaguete that’s one year older than myself . Find that one that you have common interest with , I see way to many older western men that find that 20 something in Philippine’s and think that they can grow old together . The problem is that not only are you tackling a culture difference but a age gap difference . Given the choice between you or a pinoy boyfriend her age with the same wealth you wouldn’t be a thought in her eye’s . Find that beauty within 10 years of your age and I think you will find that everything will fall into place for you and that special someone you find . My wife had four children when we met , they are all honor grad’s from high school and look at me as a good step- father . One of the most rewarding thing’s I have done in my life is helping raise them to adulthood . If your not ready to accept them as your own then walk away , it would not be fare to them , you or there mother to live separate and not as one family .
    Show less
    2

    Gie T
    1 hour ago

    A wonderful message to those expats who want to have a family in dumaguete or anywhere in the island … Dumaguete is a very nice place, people are nice and educated… If a goal of an expat is achievable to find a life partner dumaguete is a place to find educated and decent partners an expats must know where to find them .. The city is just small but has many advantages , like when it comes to travel by air, sea, land, in just 5 to 10 minutes only you are in the terminal/port… For healthwise reason dumaguete has 3 hospitals .. For educational purpose for the kids a number of colleges and universities within dumaguete.. Dumaguete is not so crowded and not polluted unlike other big cities in the island… When an expats prefer to stay in a cooler and quite place there is Valencia only 20 to 30 minutes from dumaguete .. Nearby dumaguete beaches, resorts , beautiful corals, whale watching , etc…. 
    Read more

    Gie T
    1 hour ago

    i mean big island or Philippines

    1. I ask an apology to Mr. Navy texan of reposting his message without asking permission from him i just want to let some viewers know , followers of henry local or international , Mr. navytexan view points of finding a right woman and how happy he is with what he is doing to the children of his wife…. he is such a good example of being a responsible person, a responsible dad and a happy person.. That’s why a lot of people respect him and love him ….

  16.  
    This is my second comment and we’ve done some changes since your last visit.  In addition to Village pizza in Loboc, five weeks ago we opened a second unit in Baclayon at the Petron Station there.
    The original location was the flagship unit in Loboc with the intentions to franchise from the start.  However, since Baclayon  has opened it is representative of what a franchise unit will look like and aside from some document completion we are ready to offer Village pizza unit to the public for turn key franchise unit.  Because we could not get final clearance of the name we have since changed the name to”Villagio’s Pizza (A Village Pizza Haus)
    villagio’s is available for a full turn key operation unit.  We will do the demographic studies, select and build the unit, staff the location and completely train the staff and turn over the operating unit to a Franchisee.  The total cost will vary depending on the size of the unit and will range from 600,000 to 800,000 Pesos.  This includes all construction and equipment cost ready  to operate.  These units are very profitable and can easily be operated with an absentee owner or operated as a family business.  These units are very attractive and inviting.  
    I invite you to visit Baclayon’s  Villagio’s Pizza and see how we operate and how this can be a profitable venture anywhere wihin the Philippines or outside the country.  Outside the Philippines we are in the position to offer a master franchise those interested in multiple unit location.
    Please visit face book at Village Pizza Loboc and watch for our developments or contact me at : [email protected]…….I look forward to talking with you……
    Currently working with potential franchisees in Cebu and Vietnam……..

  17. What do you think is the real intent or reason why so many Filipinas in the Philippines want to marry a foreigner, most preferably foreigners from Europe, North America, Australia and Japan. I reckon by looking at a Philippine dating website will give you a hint. Marrying a foreigner for the most part is probably a ticket out of poverty for many Filipino women in the Philippines and that’s a fact, It is not uncommon to find a twenty year old Filipino woman married to a foreigner who’s in their sixties. Is this real love or just a means to improve their economic standing, a necessity? So, what are you looking for Henry? A Filipino woman who’s going to love you  for who you are? Even then, what do you have to offer in return other than love itself? How about security, yours and hers? How about the future?

    1. @sam harris i’d say there is no single ‘real’ intent that applies to all filipinas seeking a foreigner. ‘some’ want love. some want love and security. some want only security, without love. some want a “stepping stone” to get them into a foreign country. but each woman is different, with either good or bad motives. all the more reason to spend a year getting to know them before making any commitments.

  18. Henry, I’m with you on that. If you have met the love of your life who has children and you end up marrying her it is a package deal.  I don’t want kids either but you just can’t marry a woman and not accept her child.  If you can’t accept that then don’t get involved with a woman who has children.  It’s just that simple.

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