Tampo: A Filipina’s Not-So-Secret Weapon (1of2)

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  1. Really easy ,tampar = see ya , 0 tollerance…. Catering to it just makes it worse. I am also guessing half of these ladies are right and they should probably have better.

  2. To put ketchup on her favorite puppy is a bit of an insult to her cooking.  You don’t put ketchup on your lady’s dog.  Steak sauce MAYBE . . . ketchup NEVER.  No wonder she is Tampoing  your ass.  You deserve to be Tampoed.  C’mon man.

  3. It’s called crazy. Seek medical attention asap. Im not this culture but dated guys and had female friends like that. Not worth it with too many games. Even had an ex got abusive after these types of behavior. Bad communication leads to bad relationships

  4. Hello Bro i am in Toronto Canada,,thanks for your video, wow,, I finally got the reason for the cold shoulders,, called Tampo, haha,, my Filipena girlfriend usually demonstrate this attitude,, haha

  5. Wish the wife would “Tampo” she is the opposite. We could be enjoying something and out of nowhere say something negative to ruin it as if she wants to start an argument.

  6. It’s called narcissism. Silent treatment and gaslighting. I met a filipina did the same thing. I ended that quick not worth it, even if she was good looking.

    1. that’s far from it. It can go as shallow as almost nothing to big things. If the girl is not speaking to you, use that time to think about the issue as well so when you are ready to talk, a solution can be arrived to. Narcissism is a whole different serious mental disorder.

    2. i agree. a relationship is all about 2 people interacting. cutting off communication is, in my estimation, cutting off the relationship. without that, it’s time for her to go if she’s that unhappy.

  7. I’ve been married twice once to Thai wife and lived with many women mostly half my age. Do you know every one of them did the same thing as you described then all a sudden they snap out of it. My Jack Russel dog has the same behavior ignore them in both cases in a short time they will stop this Childish behavior. So your not alone and jealousy is a hard pill to swallow as in looking at other women. Strange creatures Women.

  8. LOL-Henry, you saved me from that every time, because anyone that I start dating, I tell them 2 things; 1) I am NEVER getting married again, and 2) if you ever play the Tampo Game, we are DONE IMMEDIATELY! So Henry, thanks to you, I have never had a problem with Tampo, not ever!

  9. It;s hard for me to get mad at someone that has the decency to shut up.People flapping their mouths in anger is never very nice to listen to anyways, so I would usually choose quiet over irritating noise.Quiet people are rarely a problem for anyone, because they have the ability to stop wagging their chin with noises attached.Humans should learn this at childhood.

    1. refraining a moment to get over one’s anger.. i’m all for that too. i’m all for calm, adult conversations. but you can’t communicate with someone who refuses to speak for 48+ hours. and then ignores the issue when they do decide to speak. problems don’t get solved that way. it only builds up resentment and distance between two people.

  10. As American man and as a man 👨 that’s currently with a Filipino woman in a relationship with one I found the best way of Dealing with tampo is to just give her space but not too much space because if you give her too much space after a while they will think you don’t care about them anymore But after you given her space for a few hour Normally a good Filipino woman is ready to talk and Resolve the issue Because she’s had that time to calm down and to talk about the issue.

  11. Mate,i know what you mean with this Tampo thing, im in a relationship or a partnership cause theres no love or affection and i get that off her too no talking to me for 2 days..

  12. I don’t tolerate BS and tampo is another form of BS. Don’t play little games with me; I have no time for it. And don’t talk too much either; I don’t wanna hear your every thought. Learn to STFU. Not many women make the grade but keeping my standards saves me a whole lotta time and grief.

  13. Just be a real man, and tell her you’re going out to hit some bars and meet some friendlier girls. Never give your frame up like some Beta bitch boy… therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

  14. When you confront women, make sure youve spent years studying psychology so that you have the tools necessary to deal with their shit.
    A bit of philosophy, social antropology and some rational thought developed through logic and critical thinking cant hurt either.
    Suddenly you wake up to realise most adults are still children, and you have to basically raise your gf as her father(not to be confused with being her daddy) if you want a stable partner with integrity and emotional maturity.

  15. If this happened between a Filipina and myself, it would only happen ONE time. I would start packing the girl’s shit up and I would show her the door. If she didn’t come off of the Tampo thing right then and there, I would say good bye and I would mean it! If she DID come off of it and stop it, I would explain that it would never happen again because this is not the way we Western men roll and I would not commit to any relationship where this component would be included.

    And who are we kidding anyway? In the Phils, they may call it “Tampo” but American girls have their own versions of it… just ask my ex-wife. Her stonewalling me was one of the most corrosive things she did to our marriage.

  16. It’s no excuse for them to act that way. It’s wrong behavior. Just wrong. Move back to the west brother. Not worth the stress and aggrevation.

  17. I don’t agree with the 99% reasoning. My wife is bipolar and very angry. I’ve given her everything but feel so miserable. I want her to leave but don’t know how to tell her. She’s admitted that she’s crazy…

  18. Noooo…none of that husband look at another woman coz he should not…mine if don’t clean after his mess ( expect trouble from me coz I don’t tampo on this situation I communicate.) because to me I am not his maid. we have to do 50/50 I’m cleaning the house, He cleans the yard. If he make a mess he should clean it up. that is fair. His duty is outside the yard, mine is inside the house cooking cleaning. gro. shopping and both have to work.that’s simple 33 years together.

  19. As a person that communicates constantly and always being an understanding person, I have NO TOLERANCE with this type of IMMATURITY and NONSENSE! Either the woman tells me what is bothering her or she is OUT THE DOOR! I have many patience for people BUT will not PUT UP with IGNORANCE!

  20. I wish I had understood this before getting hooked up with a Filipina woman. I guess I was lucky as it only happened once every two years. She is gone now.

  21. You hit the nail on the head!! LOL My “friend” shut down on me because my neighbor said hello to me, got in her carand as she drove off waved at me.. Soon as she waved I looked at my “friend” and that was it, shutdown…. Now I know why and what it’s called. Thank you.

  22. I experienced Tampo this morning she went to the fridge made a cup of tea and then told me the milk was off so I said ok I will get some later so she made an latte coffee from our machine anyway a couple of hours later I went to the fridge and guess what the milk she said was off she put back in the fridge I pulled her up on it and that was it so for 5 hours I have had peace and quiet .The reason is they are childish I normally just laugh at my wife which gets her even more mad but hey life’s a bitch get on with it .

  23. In the U.S. “Tampo” is commonly referred to as “Gas Lighting.” It is a passive aggressive form of Control typically associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). If you’re married to one, YOU’VE BEEN HAD and have embarked upon a LIVING NIGHTMARE!!! If you haven’t married one but are considering it, OR are dating one, RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, IMMEDIATELY!!!

    These individuals exists all over the world. They are NOT Country specific. In case you’re not aware of how individuals like this see YOU know this, ALL Narcissists view you as an INANIMATE OBJECT like a plant, a door knob, a rug on the floor, a painting on the wall, etc. They typically lack emotions and have nothing positive to say about you or anyone, and instead are full of complaints, fault finding, and criticisms. They’re know to randomly complain about everything continuously. Basically, they don’t like people. They’re all about using people for personal gain and have ZERO interest in anything concerning YOU!

    They’re only interested in what YOU CAN DO FOR THEM, and they have NO appreciation for anything you do for them. Now get this, they also contemplate your demise, especially if there are benefits to be had for them, like a life insurance policy, property assets, etc. They are about the closest thing to what a Devil is. In line with this, they are full of envy, and some even hate and despise you without you perceiving it.

    Do NOT argue with them, or attempt to “work things out” with them” or figure them out. In doing so, they will always blame YOU for everything! Simply pack your bags and RUN!!! Also, you will need to change your phone/cellular number, change the locks on your house/apartment door, or move and leave no forwarding address. If they have the keys to your car, you will need to change the locks on your car door. If they have any of your credit cards, immediately report the cards lost and have the credit card companies send you new cards.


  24. i am with a foreign guy, his alot older than me and we’ve been for years now. honestly a TAMPO KIND OF GIRL. everything you said is true. we filipinas more like if you did something we do not liked or hurt our feelinhs we’ll just go in a corner and wont talk all day long. some of us won’t eat to make you feel even worst ha ha ha ha..it’s like i want you to know that you did aomething wrong but i will not tell you what it is.. it’s like ho nuts to figure it out. ha ha. but for me personally i do this tampo thing is that when i am angry i usually tend to say mean things. so i prefer to stay quiet and think how to say why i am pissed. even if i am devilish angry at him i do not want to say regretful thing and i do not want to see him hurt. everytime i do it my bf go nuts like i can see it on his face, then i realized i should not torture him like that. i also feel sad when i see him sad so i tried to change my TAMPO attitude a little haha. i would do tampo but when he tries to ask me what was it again, i tell him “please let me be on myself first i need time, i’ll tell you what it is when i am ready to talk.” at the end of the day whatever misumderstandings we have we try to talk it out. i do not want to lose him over tampo. we have to meet half wat to make our long dostnce relationship work. 😊

  25. Like they say in the Philippines “hay nako!” I hate tampo. My fiancé does that when she gets irritated. And nothing you can say or do will break the tampo pout. The most I’ve ever gotten out of her when she was in tampo mode is short, overbearing one word replies that cut me off before I could even finish my sentence when trying to talk to her.

    1. western men do not reward tampo. we believe in communication. don’t expect lambing from a foreigner, expect instead that tampo will ruin a good relationship with a foreigner. if you want lambing, date a filipino.

  26. hey buddy it is Tampoo. Like Shampoo just so you know ! How I handle it, I tell them fine, its your problem and I leave and go have a Beer or see another Girl, I DO NOT put up with this Bull Shit! And you work the Jealously Bull Shit out as well, I train ONLY GIRLS in Street Combat Jujitsu, I do NOT have time for this crap, Either I am with you or I am NOT ! My lady has stopped all this bull shit! She does NOT even call me to see where my DICK is at ! I WILL NOT be controlled, you either TRUST me or you don’t ! I will do what I want, when I want, and she can To ! I put no restraints on her ! We are Free to choose!

  27. Tampo that’s why you need four girlfriends….just make sure they don’t all tampo you at the same time….offend them everyday twice a day….and let them know…you’re training them

  28. tampo is real but, usually it is not so frequent or ridiculous as this . I found that since Filipinas do not speak their mind when irritated like American women do, that when it builds up it’s like a damn bursting vs a slow, constant trickle like Americans. Best thing to do is not try to “reason” with her initially. Bring her some candy or flowers, say sorry..THEN talk about it

  29. Reekay I like your videos. I believe this is a gender related phenomena across all geographies. I was married to a western american woman for eleven years. She did the same. Its a form of emotional immaturity. Its a behavior we break out of them or I think the way you deal with is tell them to communicate and speak whats on your mind by rationally working it out or tell her you will leave her if said behavior is not corrected through good communication skills.

  30. Those stupid behavior patterns are cultural an old wives tales taught to women’ for generations. Ita dumb.. the best thing u can do is teach her how that’s a bad tradition and get them to renew their mind inna more logical way but in a way that’s Loving. Because the downside of that is bitterness and resentment… Both of which are bad bad bad….. It’s insane… I understand the part about not speaking in anger and I also understand the part about taking a walk or go cool off….

    But after the cool off cool down. Part. Then it should be communicated so that it can he resolved and then not happen again… That’s how u grow…

  31. If it go on more than a month she may be finished with relationship . Any woman will do that. If they dont wont to talk about a relationship your done she leaving her mind allready made up. Were the Tampo come in that only a break up it her way out?

  32. You just need to give her reassurance and a bit of lambing and that’ll Go. However, it may take time and patience.

    Some though are chronic and uses tampo to manipulate to get what she wants or to take control. I usually solve this by breaking-off permanently. Case closed.

  33. My Filipina girlfriend have me on tampo for two weeks today she try to talk to me now she on tampo from me and I can go for months she keeps asking me what wrong

  34. The first time my G/F did it. I could not figure out what was going on. It usually happened at night and she would just roll over & go to sleep. I could talk to her all night & she would not answer me until the next day. It took me six months to her to admit she ever got mad. We did talk it out & she told me she didn’t want to fight (means angry to her, physical to me. I do not hit a woman so I don’t fight them even when they have hit me) She rarely does it anymore but, it took a lot of talking to get there. Great vlog.

  35. from time to time, a scan through youtube to look for interesting topics, this matter you discuss here certainly caught my eye. first of all, let me mention that you are certainly more observant than me or i have never encounter filipinas with that kind of unstable attitude, or i never noticed it. but i would call that hidden or secret jealousy. now i’m going to look at part 2. thanks for pointing this matter out. it made me more aware.

    1. ‘why’ people do what the do has been my lifelong fascination. i constantly observe and ask questions on behaviors and motives.

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