What’s Dating Like in China for Americans? | Street Interview


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323 comments

  1. Damn after hearing these interviews, I really want to know what dating is like for Chinese citizens when they’ve studied abroad. That’d make a great interview.

  2. This would seem like a tough one without walking on broken glass. These days it’s probably best to say you’re from Canada lol.

    The most popular foreigner in China after all was a Canadian. But times have changed and I would think it would be pretty difficult being American there.

    Now with the CCP seemingly shadowing everything you do. Who the heck could you trust but I suppose there are a few rare exceptions.

    This is kind of an awkward interview as I’m not sure exactly what it’s getting at. What’s it like dating in China almost purposely seems misguided here.

    At this stage any expat living in China knows the line they walk. Being American I think would be a severe disadvantage. Just my observation is all, just saying. :/

  3. Ain’t no sense dating if there is no intensity plan and desire for a long term relationship down the line but is great to get out there and get to know ppl!

  4. 6:08 I think it’s really interesting but also really sad about what the woman said about being fetishized… I hope she can find a true connection soon.

  5. My first and only wife (divorced) was Chinese but I didn’t move to China! There are other underlying reasons why they live there.

  6. Once Chinese people accept someone as a true friend, then they view that person as one of their own, like family. They demonstrate their affection and appreciation for their close relations through every day action rather than words. Saying thank you is very easy; demonstrating care and appreciation on a day to day basis through action has much more depth and takes much more efforts. So in a way verbally saying thank you is the easy way out. Also once you accept someone as one of your own, there is no need to verbally thank each other, why would you thank yourself 🙂

  7. The current youth living in China’s top tier cities are comparable to the best of developed countries if not better is because they enjoy the fruit of the sacrifice made by their parents and ancestors, who many could not benefit from their era and only get ridiculed by shameless foreigners like the totally woke USA. The Chinese defend their own because no one else will

  8. 8:28 I’m chinese american and i’ve NEVER noticed this till now! i never express gratitude towards my chinese friends but then say thanks all the time to my american friends LMAOOO

  9. I can’t believe that Chinese people would date dark-skinned or other Asian people. They hate us all to the core. And they worship white people so much lol.

  10. 1. Was anybody else having problems hearing some of the people?

    2. Kei, your sarcasm was not warranted and is a little offensive. There is so much seriousness in the world today, so many people have lost loved ones. We sometimes need an outlet of just frivolous conversation or frivalous videos. So yes, sometimes we want to know about someone’s dating life, something ordinary & normal–how life used to be. I can go to a billion other channels to find out the serious issues happening around the world.

  11. i already know everyone’s gonna say in the comment section why only Americans it’s because it’s not one race it just for click bait don’t simplify a broad term it been done and it’s problematic to generalize a whole thing in different scenarios as well

  12. Chineese girls are more down to earth, very realistic. It doesn’t mean relationship is all about money though… They are romantic in a very smart, adaptive and emphatetic sort of way, not depending on emotions, which is the fundation of very strong connection. They don’t necesarily expect you to meet some picture they found in movies.

  13. For the men: im a damn Casanova here, back home lucky if girls even talked to me
    For the ladies: eh im not into Chinese men at all, I just date any other foreign guy who’s not crazy
    Just like the rest of Asia and even America

  14. Lesson 1: how to dump a guy- take him to Costco and force to do something uncomfortable. He doesn’t, then you give him the finger. 🤦

  15. What the guy in the black hoodie said reminds me that a lot of Chinese would break up with their foreign partners because they finally pass spoken English tests.

  16. Woah woah woah.. If I marry a chinese woman I “have” to live for free at her parent’s house? That would be so unfortunate… And yes that was a joke. Crazy how different our cultures are.

  17. I’m a white American who grew up in Singapore and I’ve lived in vietnam and Korea too. When younger, I was pretty good looking and a lawyer. So my perception was I had a lot of bad women chasing me for bad reasons. Of course, they’re the minority. Now I’m married to a Viet woman who is a math professor and a PhD. She’s fantastic. But I’d still definitely opine that for white foreigners, anyway, a lot of stereotypes attach and it’s very easy to get involved with the wrong woman.

  18. Nice interview. Bring more interviews in China to the channel, please. Then, we can hear a difference perspective to the one shown in the media.

  19. Parents seems to be a major topic when dating in China. Really interesting that married couples are expected to go live with the parents. There are Pros and Cons I guess, but I like the idea of a large family home; it sounds like it’d bring a lot of stability as well as some significant savings 😅

  20. How does it feel as an Asian guy living in United States?

    1. If you have Drugs and Alcohol. You get all the baddies.

    There is no bullet two. Lololol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  21. Also, the best part of this video is you interviewing people of so many different ethnicities, including Asian, who are Americans living in China. It’s really fascinating and illuminating in many different ways. Again, this is awesome work you do. Thank you!

  22. In Asian culture, the eldest son will have to live with their parents and look after them when they become old. In some culture, the youngest son will look after. This is the big diffirence with American culture.

  23. 4:27 Stanning Chinese boyband from competiton show as an International fans, I CAN RELATE

    They torture us by having really bad choice of English name 😭

  24. I don’t agree about not needing to thank someone who’s a true friend. I grew up in Taiwan and we thank friends and even family members for doing things that we appreciate. “Don’t mention it” and other sayings are just their courtesy responses. I don’t think they literally don’t want you to be thankful.

  25. Surprising that Americans would want to move to China. I would never want to move there because of the government and how you will always feel like an outsider as a foreigner.

  26. Very interesting topic; however, I’m a bit surprised about the relative “niche” samples that’s not as representative to the premise suggested by your title.

  27. That guy that stated “Chinese girls don’t like it when you say thank you!” He’s sort of right. I’m with a Chinese girl now and she detests whenever I bring up the word thank you. Really strange to me but whatever

  28. You don’t need to say “thank you” to your parents, you hug them or simply put your arm around them, your Chinese girlfriend or boyfriend would expect the same.

  29. 9:20 As a Chinese, that black girl is right on the point! Over-valuing or prioritizing finacial capability and family background rather than the personality of one another is a very unfortunate consequence of Chinese tradition + modern consumerism. I hope other nations to not be like us in this sense, and I hope we can overcome this. Just stop viewing dating as marketing!

  30. Hm, so China is quickly becoming westernized. That may or may not be a good thing. Although, seems the guy still needs to have a house before they ever discuss marriage, lol.

  31. China is not a good place to live for foreigners, the citizens are fine, but the government/authorities are problematic- especially against foreigners. Serpentza has some great videos about his experiences living there.

  32. @Asian Boss make a short documentaries at least. i notice that many viewers is not interested anymore in a random street interview in every videos. that’s all

  33. I kind of wish there were more questions about things that they felt were the same, or they liked, or were better than dating in America? I feel like a lot of the questions were about dating being more difficult/different in China

  34. 8:44 yess I’m Malaysian Chinese and I hate it when my friend says “Thank You”, it’s too formal, we are best friends and it’s normal that I help you out whenever you need! Thank you put distance between us and makes me feel like we are acquaintance instead of best friend.

    I prefer my best friend says “thanks”/“love you much” as opposed to “thank you”
    In Chinese, would prefer 谢啦 as opposed to 谢谢 .

    But in a more serious situation, and we like to express our sincere gratitude for their help, we will use “Thank you” so we know we are truly grateful for their help, it’s really different from western culture, but I prefer this way 😂

  35. Let me get one thing straight, going to set-up dates while in a relationship is just messed up. If any girl does that to me, I would end the relationship right there. I’m Chinese, and I absolutely hate those set-up dates under any circumstances.

  36. Just want to say that the idea that Chinese girls/women measure a partner by material worth is a generalisation/stereotype which does not apply to all.

  37. lots of insightful remarks from these people and I think the annoying cliches (danger!) have been avoided. you really get a wide range of impressions on what sentimental life in China can be. the flatulence story got me good. lol.

  38. When I was living in China I went out with a friend For the first time and I thought it was just a hang out. Turns out he thought it was a date. He had booked a hotel room and didn’t notify me until we were in the taxi. I instantly told him no, and he thought it would be okay because “Americans were easy.” I was so shocked and left him in the taxi….

  39. I’d like to add that actions speak louder than words in Chinese culture, and that saying “thank you” in general is categorized as being formal and relegated to professional, not personal relationships. People will judge you by your actions; they highly value reciprocity via actions + gift-giving and expect you to do favors for them after they do you a favor as a form of thank you. This is not rudeness, but a major cultural difference in China vs the West.

  40. His date’s name is Gucci? Yea its quite common chinese (and Thai) women use brand names as their English names. But also a blessing, as that name basically sums up everything about her LOL

  41. Actually as an Arab I view Americans as extremely enthusiastic, emotional, expressive, it’s a good thing but it could get noisy and annoying, so if you’re an American be yourself but t
    Don’t be surprised if people seem colder than you, it’s just different culture different nature

  42. Seeing a small snippet of LBGTQ culture in China, I would love to see a more in depth look at the culture. It’s been a while since you guys have done that and typically it’s been about a specific LGBTQ+ issue or general public’s opinion. But I’d really love to see what queer culture is like in different Asian countries from a queer perspective

  43. The public insults of China feed an unconscious strain in the Western body politic that could seriously complicate Sino-American relations: the fear of the “yellow peril.” This fear has surfaced from time to time, contributing to the rise of anti-Asian violence in America.

  44. All of the interviewed Americans are so eloquent and nice! If I was interviewed on the street I would be wayyy to nervous to talk so casually😂

  45. As an Asian (Chinese) guy I really wish I had more courage dating non-Asian girls … I always thought I would be refused because of my race and culture.

  46. the dudes are nit picking what they want from the girls because they feel wierd about the culture at a place they arent born in, but living in another country they should as they say ‘when in rome do as romans do’

  47. Regarding what the guy from Georgia said:

    There is also a difference between Chinese millennial women( born 80s and 90s) and the ones born after 2000s. The millennial women kind of went through a similar movement like US went through in the 60s, since they grew up in conservative families, most of them had a sexual liberation awakening pretty late in their lives, and they tend to want to have fun for a while and enjoy the fact that, for the first time in history, women in Chinese societies are not rushed to get married before 25 or 30. The Chinese guys same age or older still tend to be more conservative, thus these women choose not to settle, especially the ones who moved to big cities. There was a time “sex and the city” was quite popular among millennial Chinese women living in big cities, so there is a certain level of relatability.

    But I do find younger generations (born in 2000s) mostly start moving beyond that phase collectively and instead wanting more commitment in the relationships. A lot of them had a normal teenager life growing up (dating in high school is more common, but not a thing for many millennials because of parents were against it), and they are less about sex but more about relationships.

    That being said, as a millennial myself, we do also move out of the “sexual liberation” phase eventually, so if it’s the right person don’t write people off because of this 🙂

  48. Shanghai (or Beijing for that matter) is definitely not a representation of China’s dating life, hence the experiences people share here do not correspond with the reality of China, LGBT is not something accepted in China and you can get into so much trouble for being it, but in Shanghai they kind of look away, same goes for the more “casual dating”.

    I understand that it’s not possible to make a video around China and speak to people in different provinces, but there should be a disclaimer about the interviews and where they took place.

    Also, as an entertainment video I am not expecting the many and many horror stories most foreigners face in China dating Chinese people but this happens, if you go to China with expectations of having a western-like dating life forget about it, 100%, you can find exceptions in Shanghai or Beijing but not the rest of China and if you are not a white person your dating life is going to be very complicated and limited, this is a reality.

    Finally, this not a criticism, but rather a heads up, only thing I’d say to Asian Boss (as they claim to be quite transparent) is to add a disclaimer to this kind of videos and where they take place so people are aware that what they are watching is very specific to a city and they shouldn’t expect the same anywhere else in China.

  49. No offence but the Chinese are desperate to get out of China since the Mao Days (1949+) and FROM AN ASIAN point of view – sorry guys I have to warn you – they are dating you for Western Citizenship and getting their families out of China – it’s total BS if they tell you/manipulate you – makes you think you getting a wife ‘for love’. Speaking from PERSONAL EXPERIENCES from my immediate family members (mostly women) and my Chinese female best friends. They JUST DONT TELL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE Screwed. I tell/warn my male western friends all the time. It’s NOT a racists thing btw (I am Chinese). I FEEL sorry for my western friends being USED AND MANIPULATED.

  50. This was hilarious and very interesting (and familiar 😂). Please interview more people on the same subject. I really liked the variety of demographics, too.

  51. Is it possible to ask not only Americans in these street interviews? I mean, you cover really interesting topics but the world is not only about the US.

  52. :Lazaridis et al. (2014) identified Western Hunter-Gatherers (WHG) as a distinct ancestral component. They were found to have contributed ancestry to all modern Europeans, including Early European Farmers (EEF), who were however mostly of Anatolian descent. They suggested that WHGs separated from eastern Eurasians around 40,000 BC, and from Ancient North Eurasians (ANE) around 22,000 BC.[3]
    Europeans are the descendants of Asians.

  53. I’m in my early 60’s and love Asian culture and would like to date an Asian man. It’s easier for younger people to be dating as local or international couples. And they’re the ones who are the subject of most of these videos and even though that’s interesting and I still watch them, I can relate better if I could get an older person’s perspective. Surely there’s some of them in want of partners too. I’m finding it hard to meet locals as much as it is overseas guys (probably because I’m not a size 2 like most Asian women and don’t have a master’s degree like a lot of these guysm want on the dating sites). If that’s the case I guess I’m SOL.

  54. 8:53 I have exactly the same problem as him, when I say thank you to my Chinese friends, they tell me to stop saying it when I just want to be polite too 😅😂

  55. Some Chinese: Americans are easy.
    Americans: No, we are not. We just not shy to talk about sex necessarily.

    Some Americans: Chinese are easy.
    Chinese: No, we are not. We just want to practice English.
    I guess there is a huge misunderstanding.

  56. Please can Asian Boss interview the lady from 1:46, second time you guys are interviewing her. Let’s find out what she does. Love her style!

  57. Chinese rarely show gratitude, like: “Thank you”
    Also, Chinese rarely apologize, like: “I’m sorry”
    Simply doesn’t exist in their realm paradigm, and passive-aggressiveness is very common form of raze is mm.. and the gls can leave one for the tiniest non-rational thing, hey don’t look for Aliens from another planet, they are already here.. lol 🤔😂

  58. I work with a Chinese shipping agent who is so sweet to me lol hes helped out a lot with my business. Of course I’m always like thank you! And hes like no! Don’t say thanks, we’re friends. How do I show gratitude then 🙃

  59. The interviews and what they had to say was really good. To be honest though, a lot of the difficulties and responses expressed seem like ways people refuse to adapt to living in a new country.

  60. So funny. A lot of Chinese parents in the west have a lot of common with Chinese parents in fhe west. And for us that were raised with Chinese values in their household in the west are similar. Not the same but similar.

  61. This is very interesting. The last lady is spot on, we are all humans regardless of culture and race we all crave love, companionship and happiness. Great video Asian boss, love your channel xx

  62. I say Be with someone that takes the time to court you and gets to know you as a friend first. And no reason to be in a relationship with someone just to say that you are in one. A relationship is not a requirement for a happy life. Many people have a relationship or a marriage and aren’t happy. I decided that working on myself is the most important part of my life. Becoming the best version of myself in every way.

  63. I haven’t never visited in china yet
    But I was visited in japan and. Singapore
    Really I hope to visit china in next year
    That’s my hope

  64. Just wondering, do asians hate being yellow?? The settings on so many Asian content are so high I have to turn it down to the lowest setting to comfortably watch it.
    The girl with green hair said how they filter their photos so much you don’t recognize them when you meet them.

  65. I once had a Chinese woman ask me to marry her on our first date because she was in her 30s and was receiving a lot of pressure from her parents. She drove and it was late at night and I wasn’t sure where I was in the city so out of fear I said yes. I then had to spend the next 30 minutes trying to solve problems to a plan that wasn’t actually going to do. Such as how many kids would we have, and which country we would live in hahahaha. Once I arrived home I deleted her wechat and never spoke to her again.

  66. 11:22 can confirm🤣 I also bring some snacks and little presents to my friend everytime, it’s uncomfortable and impolite for me to visit someone with empty hand, even if he is already pretty close to me

  67. In the places that i live in Northeast China i was surprised to death when i found out that those Chinese guy in that region mostly have european wife specially Eastern. Me myself was one of the rarity with a Chinese wife.
    Still in my opinion different region have a different culture as we know Chinese has many ethnicity and sub-ethnic. And i have to admit that most northern Chinese guy were maybe more composure and confidence compared to their southern part and probably physical also play a role that most of northerner were taller and bigger than the southerner.

  68. so hyperfocused on cultural differences that u never stop to think what are the cultural similarities. i think both are great btw – the world is vast yet the same. but we do need to stop and ask why the framing is always one way and not the other.

  69. Haha this is so interesting and informative! Thank you Asian Boss! As for no thank you all the time among friends is spot on. That’s why in Chinese 不用谢 means you are welcome, and it literally means you don’t need to say thanks and they mean it. 😂

  70. 8:45 hey… how could i put it in english… even with a close friend, i will “decline” their thank you.
    Maybe because it is a cultural thing… but i really appreciate your thank you, and if you don’t say thank you, i’ll say you are rude.
    I know… it is confusing… but it is how it is

  71. I don’t think it’s just China, but a lot of these issues stem from cultural differences and generational differences. This seems to be a concern with South Korea and Japan as well. Traditionally (in general) the main concerns include language barriers, stereotypes if a different ethnicity, preferring a homogenous relation, etc.

  72. you cant really get honest answers from people while they are still in china, no? surveillance state that doesn’t allow you to be negative about the state.

  73. From my own personal experience, even the dating scene 20 years ago in Shanghai is very open so much so that I think they are many people more open than the average westerner. This is a shock to me when I moved to Shanghai in 2003. There are things that I thought was impossible when it comes to dating scene that happens at rapid pace even back then. The dating scene in 2021 is more unreal from what my single friends have said to me. If you are rich, it does not matter if you are single or married, I believe the sky is the limit when it comes to dating in Shanghai. Targeting married individual is becoming more of a trend lately among the thrill seeker. Personally, being a more conservative person I hate this extreme openness in dating and marriage. Fast and furious is just about the right description when it comes to relationship in Shanghai. Fortunately, lower tier cities are very different and generally much more conservative.

  74. Why never make video in/about Malaysia? I’m from India working in Malaysia for last 2 years. If you guys have a story I can help shoot it in Malaysia. No expectations, just want to contribute to the channel spread across Asia

  75. The woman’s mom-in-law doesnt know english or is uncomfortable speaking in English (some chinese might feel embarrassed if they speak wrong grammar?) thats why she didnt speak a word. It might seem unfriendly but it doesnt mean she doesnt welcome her as a daughter-in-law . . If she could learn how to speak mandarin, i think the in-law will be more open to her.

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